Neutrality

Neutrality as the inner attitude of non-judgement and presence

We define neutrality as a combination of non-judgement and empathetic (even compassionate) presence.

Non-judgement implies that you, as facilitator do not make a value judgement about the other’s actions, statements, ideas or emotions. Empathetic presence implies that you, instead of distancing yourself, show understanding for the other. It is as if you place yourself in their shoes.

Neutrality is not something you as facilitator achieve at once. You need to work on it over time. It involves becoming aware of your own prejudices, reactions and emotional triggers. It also involves your ability to be present and show empathy.

You might wonder whether neutrality is a requirement and whether you will be able to achieve it. Let me put you at ease: after twenty years as a mediator and facilitator I still struggle with my neutrality at times. There are always people and issues that trigger responses in me. These are simply reminders that I need to move more clearly into the zone of non-judgement – of others and of myself.

You will see how important neutrality is when you begin to use the tools we introduce. To become a good listener requires that you move into the zone of neutrality too.

Notice that we speak of the “zone of neutrality”. We can also see it as a role you take on. Nobody is neutral all the time. You wouldn’t get much done if you were. It is when you take on the facilitation (or listening) role that you put aside your own ambitions, your own judgements or emotions and move into a bubble of neutrality.

Why neutrality? What purpose does it serve? It helps to create a safe space for participants to say what needs to be said. The moment that they feel that the space is not safe they are likely to shut down or retreat.

If we feel that what we are saying is being judged, that we are being judged or that a person is simply not interested in hearing what we are saying, we tend to be less open. Not making judgements and supporting the participants to become clearer, at the very least helps the participants to be able to make better decisions about what they need to do. It can also contribute to building trust and creating openness, thus changing the future relationship between the parties. We have also seen that participants tend to emulate your behaviour as facilitator or mediator. Through neutrality you can change the atmosphere by the way you behave towards others.